Today’s film review ｜ school season! Bao Bao Bao Ma must watch the movie ＂Learn Dad＂!

Special feature of 1905 film network Under the picture of a sea of people and queuing for numbers, the film kicked off.

The film "Learning Dad" tells the story of four families’ irony when their children are young and young. After the film was released, it triggered a strong discussion in the society. In this issue, Ma Cheng, a psychologist, was invited to analyze it on the spot to break the educational anxiety together.

The four families in the movie "Learning Dad" represent four different family situations at present.

Family no.1

The characteristic of this family is "hard-working": parents run hard with their children.

Family no.2

This parent is "desperate" to follow: seeing others report to their children, they feel that they can’t fall behind.

Family 3

Such parents are "kings": they are parents’ opinion leaders.

Family no.4

Such parents are "ideal". We all hope that children can grow up in a comprehensive quality education and a good family environment.

Next, we open the protagonist files of these four groups of families in turn.

No.1 Wan Qian family

From the fire sister-in-law family played by Wan Qian, we can see that they are both embarrassed for their children. The mother played by Wan Qian has a line: "Everyone is running, I dare not stop."

Wan Qian’s family represents many very exhausted parents in the present society.

They think that at present, I do my best to provide a good starting line for my child, but after that, all his exhaustion and all his pressure are invisibly infiltrated into all aspects of life.

No.2 Bo Huang Family

The Lei Dali family played by Huang Bo shows another family path.

Bo Huang’s lover should have died, and he began to learn how to be a father from scratch after the baby was born. Ma Cheng, a psychologist, said that parents always feel guilty when they meet a widowed family like this at work, that is, "I" did not provide the best and complete environment for their children to grow up.

In the movie, when Lei Dali’s family collapsed, we saw him screaming when he couldn’t get a taxi in the rain. Many viewers thought this passage was really real and distressing.

To some extent, Lei Dali was a good father from the beginning, but Bo Huang also made many mistakes that parents would make. It is because his inner emotions are too strong that he ignores his children’s feelings. When his son Xiaomi said that sentence, "I don’t need my father to ask for help anymore." He realized that Xiaomi didn’t do all this for his own happiness, and the so-called future was just for his father.

In fact, the children we are most worried about are sensible from the guilt of their parents.

There is a concept in psychology called false self, that is, the false self I made to please you, to make you happy, to satisfy you and to make you feel happy. What will happen if it is extreme? For example, in the workplace, people who are bullied, I will blindly sacrifice myself to cater to others, and all these come from the fake self when we were young.

No.3 NI YAN Family

The mother played by Yan Ni in "Learning Dad" is actually the real state of many parents in real life. She places too much hope on her children, and at the same time makes the pressure on them more and more heavy, trying to escape from this high-pressure environment.

Part of the reason for NI YAN’s "chicken baby" behavior comes from her failed marriage. After the divorce, Yan Ni wanted to prove that she was the best for her children through her children, and it was the most correct decision to give them to me. Therefore, the accumulation of this state of mind made her keep tying up her children, but forgot that the children were actually an independent individual, with their own ideas and emotions.

In the movie, NI YAN’s family told their parents to leave room for their children to grow up, to allow them to "grow wildly" in a suitable range, and not to control their children too much with their own will.

No.4 Zhang Junning Family

The mother played by Zhang Junning seems to be the most obscure one in the movie, but the mother she represents is actually full of helplessness.

In the movie, Zhang Junning wants to give her children the best, so she tries to squeeze into all kinds of parties, trying to integrate into more circles and accumulate more network resources. But in the process, she seems to have lost herself and forgotten what her children really want.

For many parents in real life, Zhang Junning family may be an ideal state. In this ideal state, parents think that when they have enough economic strength and network resources, they can let their children enjoy the best. But for children, how many beautiful clothes are not so important, and it is not so important to go to the top schools. The companionship of parents is the most important thing.

Therefore, no matter what state parents are in, when arranging their children’s lives according to our will, we must first ask the children what they really want. Only in this way can children grow up healthily in love.

There is no unique answer to the exam of growing up.

Time is coming to the school season in September. At the beginning of school, the film "Learning Dad" also gives parents an opportunity to examine themselves.

In today’s society full of competitive anxiety, parents will inevitably be infected by this anxious atmosphere, putting pressure on their children and putting a lot of unwarranted pressure on themselves.

The cram school for children should not be less than that for colleagues and children … …

Children must cultivate more than three hobbies … …

Children must go to the top school in the district … …

These rules and regulations seem to have turned children’s training into a set of replicable templates, as if children can become "winners in life" as long as they follow the top specifications.

But dear parents and friends, don’t forget that your children are just children who want to be happy and free. They have their own preferences, their own ideas and their own life direction.

As parents, we can help our children stride forward step by step, with less intervention of our own will, more questions about their thoughts and more respect for their opinions.

Parents or children, we are all independent individuals.

Never let love become a rope that binds children.